And The Rooster Crowed Three Times

And the Rooster Crowed Three Times

One of the greatest struggles of being a trauma and shame survivor are triggers or reminders. Sometimes triggers are obvious. Other times, very subtle, maybe even something you can’t quite put your finger on. Either way, we can heal from the internal wounds caused by someone else’s actions or even our own.

As I thought about the Apostle Peter, my imagination took over. The night before Jesus’ betrayal, Peter claimed he’d die for Christ. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter cut off the ear of a soldier. However, when the time came, he fled with the others and denied Christ three times before the rooster crowed, just as Jesus had predicted. Can you imagine the guilt he felt? (For the whole story check out Jhn 1:42 and Mat 16:16-18.) 

And the Rooster Crowed Three Times

When that old rooster crowed, I bet Peter wanted to die; everything he believed about himself and Jesus crumbled. He didn’t question if Jesus was the Christ but rather operated from a stunned disbelief as everything Jesus predicted the night before became reality. Jesus had laid it all on the line during their “last supper” together.

Peter had been rash, bold, and emotionally fierce in his actions. All the disciples knew his dedication to Jesus; he even was considered one of Jesus’ closest three friends. Yet he shrank like a coward on the sidelines telling people he didn’t know “the man.” The Bible says as Jesus walked by with the soldiers, He looked at Peter in the courtyard. Ouch!! All of Peter’s hopes seemed to crash into a pit of despair. The next morning when the rooster crowed again, his shame flashed before his eyes like a movie in slow motion. With every crow, the nails of his shame pierced deeper into his soul.

When Jesus appeared to the women three days later, He told them to gather the others “and Peter.” Jesus knew Peter was isolating in a cloud of self-hatred. Thankfully, Peter listened and joined the others when Jesus showed His risen body. Despite seeing Jesus again, Peter likely felt even more shame. Obviously, Jesus didn’t see Peter as a “low down, lying, cowardice dog” he thought of himself. For the next 10 days, every time a rooster crowed, Peter wanted to crawl under a rock.

We see this even as Jesus sat with Peter before His ascension to Heaven. Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me.” in Jhn 21:15-25 (TPT)

"After they had breakfast, Jesus said to Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you BURN WITH LOVE for me more than these?” Peter answered, “Yes, Lord! You know that I’ve great AFFECTION for you!” “Then take care of my lambs,” Jesus said. Jesus repeated his question the second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you BURN WITH LOVE for me?” Peter answered, “Yes, my Lord! You know that I’ve great AFFECTION for you!” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. Then Jesus asked him again, “Peter, son of Jonah, do you have great AFFECTION for me?” Peter was saddened by being asked the third time and said, “My Lord, you know everything. You know that I BURN with love for you!” Jesus replied, “Then feed my lambs!”"

Peter answered as honestly as he could. The words Jesus used in the Hebrew for “love” were very specific. The first, Agape love is self-giving, sacrificial love that seeks the good of another without expecting anything in return; it is the kind of love God shows humanity and calls us to extend freely. It’s BURNING love. Second, Philos (brotherly) love is love rooted in friendship, mutual care, and shared life. It grows through connection, loyalty, and presence. It’s AFFECTION love.

So, this is how the questions played out. Jesus asked, “Do you BURN with LOVE?” (Agape) But all Peter could say is, “I have great AFFECTION for You.” Ouch! Then Jesus asked him again using Agape! Double ouch!! Then a third time, meeting Peter at his level, “Peter, son of Jonah, do you have great AFFECTION (Philos) for me?” The shame lifted because Peter realized Jesus wasn’t looking down at him, He was raising him up to where he belonged. Peter became the leader of the Disciples, now Apostles. He went from probably wanting to die to seeing his worth through Christ’s eyes!

I love this story. It is so rich in truths we often don’t recognize in ourselves.

One, that darn rooster kept crowing. Every time he heard a rooster it reminded him that he betrayed the Man he’d declared to be Christ. (John 6:68) Sometimes, it feels like no matter what we do our failures follow us. We may not consciously recognize our triggers, but symbolically in one way or another the rooster crows for us all.

Two, Peter was individually summoned. We’ve all been summoned individually. For instance, something is calling you to read this right now. It's not because I'm a great writer, but because the Spirit of the Lord is directing you to move forward in your life. He is lifting you up to where you belong.

Three, Jesus toke Peter aside to ask him if he loved Him. Not only once but three times. Each time reminding Peter of the call on his life. Sometimes, we get what theologians call “unctions.” These are feelings of really wanting or needing to do something out of the ordinary. It's a gut or instinctual feeling, which is actually the Holy Spirit saying, “do xyz or no don’t do xyz.”

We can all relate to Peter. Even if you're not familiar with his Gospel story, you know the feeling of having something you hoped for crumble, like a relationship, a dream job, your health, or facing bankruptcy. We have painful reminders, like roosters crowing in Peter's case, symbolizing our trauma and shame. It wasn’t just one rooster; imagine how many crowed in town, on hillsides, and in the wilderness. They were everywhere!

Until we accept not only Christ’s love, but that of Father God, those triggers continue to plunge us into moments or even decades of torment. Embracing Christ and Father God's love has been a process for me. For some, instantly their entire belief systems transform. For most of us, God works in and through us.

Likely Peter feared severe judgment from his closest companions. He was anxious Jesus would further condemn him. He was afraid his heart would burst with the guilt and shame he carried when he’d see Jesus face to face. We’ve been there facing an ex, old co-workers, people from church, meeting the baby you secretly adopted out 20 years ago, or waiting for medical test result after years of partying.

Jesus pulled Peter aside, but we often don't have that luxury. Instead, He speaks to us through experiences, sermons, prophetic messages, unctions, and miraculous encounters. Like Peter, we often downplay what He tells us out of fear or feeling unworthy. Hopefully, after the umpteenth time, we start responding, “Yes Lord, I burn for you.” (Little flames are still considered “burning.”) It often takes time to realize we've gone from being one of many called by God to embracing our identity as His chosen daughter.

Father God sent His Son to speak to us through His Earthly experiences.  When Jesus returned to our Father’s side, He left an awesome gift … His Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit taps away at our shell of self-protection. Because He wants you to see that you are far more than you think. He has a purpose for you. He cares about you. He enjoys you. I do some things that I know He has to be doing the face-plant into His hand, shaking His head saying, “Yep, that’s My girl. I created her. I love her. She can be a handful, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. That’s MY girl!”